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Snappy Comebacks To Stupid Humans

October 23rd, 2009 (01:24 am)

So today I was crossing the street at the lights at Queen & Niagara. Because the walking man signal came on, and because I assumed the cyclist barreling down the road would wither stop or do that lazy ass thing where they run the red but go around you, I crossed.

Anyway the cyclist running the red became angered that she had to in anyway adjust her path or speed for someone legally crossing at an intersection and sarcastically yelled "Thanks for nothing" at me. So I said Oh you don't have to thank me for making your running at red light more difficult." Or something like that. And she said. "Oh fuck off!"

What I should have said back was this: "My ears are not toilets! Mind your ruddy language, Madam."

I am committing this phrase to memory as my universal comeback for all pickles and conundrums.